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AIN M '.RV 



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THE UNIVERSAL STAGE. 



ALWAYS INTENDED. A Comedy in 1 

Act. Bv Horace Wipin. 3 male, 3 female char. 

THE ANONYMOUS KISS. A Vaudeville. 
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Bv riiomas Morimi. tj niiile, :i female char. 

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THE DAUGHTER OF THE REGIMENT. 

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DON'T JUDGE BY APPEARANCES. A 

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DORA. A Pastoral Drama in 3 Acts. By 

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A DOUBTFUL VICTORY. A Comedy in 

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EAST LYNNE. A Drama in 5 Acts. 8 

.; male. 7 female char. 

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GIVE A DOG A BAD NAME. A Farce. 

2 male. 2 female char. 

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HIT HIM, HE HAS NO FRIENDS. A 

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7 male, 3 female char. 

A HUSBAND TO ORDER. A Serio-comic 

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I'VE WRITTEN TO BROWNE. A Farce 

in 1 Act. Bv r. J. Williams. 4 male, 3 female char. 

JOHN DOBBS. A Farce in 1 Act. By 

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JOHN W0PP3. A Farce in 1 Act. By 

W. E. Suter. 4 male, 2 female char. 

THE LOST CHILDREN. A Musical En- 
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LOOK AFTER BROWN. A Farce in 1 Act. 

By Ge.jrKc A .Smart, M.D. 6 male, 1 fimale char. 

LOST IN LONDON, A Drama iu 3 Acts. 

6 mak-, 4 female char. 



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By H. I'lllmrii Curiis. G male, 4 female char. 

MADAM IS ABED. A Vaudeville iu 1 Act. 
MARY MOO; Vr"' Which Shall I Marry? 

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MONSEIGNEUR. A Drama in 3 Acts. Jiy 

Ihonias Ar.h.r. I.'i male, 3 female char. 

MY PRECIOUS BETSY. A Farce in 1 Act. 

By J. M. iMorloii. 4 male, 4 female char. 

MY TURN NEXT, A Farce iu 1 Act. By 

T. J. Williams. 4 male, 3 female char 

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NONE SO DEAF AS THOSE WHO WON'T 

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By T. J. Williams. 4 male, 2 female char. 

OLD HONESTY. A Comic Drama in 2 

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ONLY A CLOD. A Comic 1 )r;ima in 1 Act. 
By J. P. Simpson. 4 male, 1 female char. 

PAYABLE ON DEMAND. A Domestic 

Drama in 2 Acts. 7 male, 1 female eliar. 

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in 1 Act. By Chas. Selbv. 3 male, 2 female char. 

PUTKINS; Heir to Castles in the Air. 

A Comic Drama in 1 Act. By W. K. Emerson. 2 
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Act. By W. E. Suter. 3 male, 3 female chnr. 

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Acts, b male, 7 female char. 

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A SLICE OF LUCK. A Farce in 1 Act. 

By J. M. Morton. 4 male, 2 female char. 

SMASHINGTON GOIT. A Farce in l Act. 

By T. J. Williams. 5 male, 3 female char. 

A SOLDIER, A SAILOR, A TINKER, 

and a Tailor. A Farce in 1 Act. 4 male, 2 female. 

SUNSHINE THROUGH THE CLOUDS. 

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3 female char. 

TRUE UNTO DEATH. A Drama in 2 Acts. 

By J. Sheridan Knowles. 6 male. 2 female char. 

THE TURKISH BATH. A Farce in 1 Act. 

By Montag^ue Williams and F. C. Burnand. 6 male, 
1 female char. 

TWO GENTLEMEN IN A FIX. A Farce 

in 1 Act. Bv W. E. Suter. 2 male char. 

TWO HEADS BETTER THAN ONE. A 

Farce in 1 Act. Bv I.enox Home. 4 male, 1 female. 

THE TWO PUDDIFOOTS. A Farce in 1 

Act. By J. M. Morion. 3 male, 3 female char. 

AN UGLY CUSTOMER. A Farce in 1 Act. 

Bv Thomas ,1. Williams. 3 male, 2 female char. 

UNCLE ROBERT. A Comedy in 3 Acts. 

Bv II. P- Curtis. 6 male, 2 female char. 

A VERY PLEASANT EVENING. A Farce 

in 1 Act. Bv W. K. .Suter. 3 male char. 

THE WELSH GIRL. A Comedy iu 1 Act. 

Bv Mrs. Plan<he. 3 male, 2 female char. 

WHICH WILL HAVE HIM? A Vaude- 



ille. 1 I 



; fen 



THE WIFE'S SECRET. A Play in 5 Acts 

Bv Geo. W. I.iivell. 1(1 male, 2 female char. 

YOtJR LIFE'S IN DANGER, A Farce in 

1 Act. By J. M. Morion. 3 male, 3 female chii' 



WALTER H. BAKER & CO., Publishers, Boston, Mass. 



p. O. Box 2840. 



CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 



^ JDrama 



BY / 

HARRIET H. ROBINSON. 



"But if you ask me what offices women may fill, I reply -any. 
I do not care what case you put; let them be sea-captams .f you 
will." -MARGARET FULLER (in 1844)- 



^^p^ 1 m7Ji 

BOSTON: ^^..^iwASHiriG:. 



^^^l.^^/^X^-^>^^ 



\ 



m^ ' 




CHARACTERS : 

Nathan Gandy A retired sea-captain. 

William Miller . . A down-East skipper, afterwards captain of 

the Creole Bride. 

Mr. Romberg ^ ship-mvner. 

Hank (or Henry) Mudgett .... The cook, a Nantucket boy. 

Patsy Hefron ......... Mate of the Creole Bride. 

JosEPHus Herodotus, called Phus * . . The Captain's boy. 

LORANY Gandy Wife of Captain Gandy. 

Mary Gandy Daughter of Capt. and Mrs. Gandy. 

Leafy Jane Gandy . . ) 

John Quincy Adams Gandy ) Children of Capt. and Mrs. Gandy. 

* This part may be changed to that of a girl, named Phusephony (Persephone) 
Hbrooias. 



Copyright, 1S87, by George M. Baker. 



1 "^'^"^ ^%^ 

CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 



ACT L 



Nathan Candy's house, near the wharf in Annisport 
Living-room. Fireplace^ R, Doors, R. and L. and back. 
Table, R.. c, oti which is a braided-rag mat., partly done. 
Chairs, pictures of ships, a 7nourning piece {weeping wil- 
low hanging over a tornb') Mrs. Gandy with a broom. 
She sweeps carefully away from the middle of the room. 

Mrs. G. There ! there's that plaguy money for me to 
sweep raound agin '. I'm tired to death on it, I be ; an' that's a 
fac', I can't half sweep my floor ' But, I snum, I won't pick 
it up! I told Nathan I wouldn't, an' I won't! 

{Enter Captain Gandy, l., singing?^ 

" On Springfield's maountins there did dwell 
A lovelye youth, an" known full well, 
Leftenant Carter's onlie son, 
A galliant youth, nigh twenty-one." 

(Sees his wife, who does not look up.^ 
Capt. G. Hullo, Lorany ! didn't know yer was thar. 
What makes yer so glum ? (Aside) Oh, the caarf, I bet! 
Say, Lorany, I'm plaguy sorry I sold the caarf. I'd buy her 
back, but the fellers 'd laf at me. I told some on 'em haow 
bad yer felt, daown to the store. And old Pete Rosson, he was 
a-sittin' on a kintle o' salt fish ; he said : " Wimmin's rights ! I 
s'pose Mis' Gandy went ter the meetin' and heerd the lectur'- 
woman. I guess Mis' Rosson wouldn't dare ter complain 

3 



4 CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 

ef I sold one o' her caarfs. I'd let her know they was 7nine, 
double quick." Won't yer take up yer money, Lorany? 

Mks. G. {dusting). No ! Nathan, I won't ! So, there ! It 
'ill hev to' stay there, wher' it dropped, for all o' me ; for I'll 
never pick it up as long as I live. I tho't all we had was 
aourn together, and that everything belonged as much ter me 
as it does ter you. But I see naow that it's as the lectur'- 
woman sed. I read it in the Tranship : — "Husband and 
wife IS one, but that one is the husband." I shouldn't 'a' tho't 
o' sellin' yaour caarf or yaour best caow. You call 'em yaourn, 
an' the caarf was alius called mine. An', then, little Sally, 
that's gone, tho't so much on't ! {Wipes her ejes.) 

Capt. G. Hang it ! don't take on so, (Aside) D3.rn them 
fellers, flingin' their wimmin's right at me! {To her) Who 
cares what the lectur'- woman says ? Some darned old maid, or 
divorced widder, I s'pose. Didn't I buy suthin' for yer with 
the money ! Didn't I buy yer a gaown, a shawl, an' a bun- 
nit ! An', when yer didn't like em, didn't I give yer all the 
money back, and yer wouldn't take it! An' didn't yer fling it 
daown on the floor, an' vaow you wouldn't pick it up ! 

Mrs. G. Yes, but yer never as'd me ! an' I didn't want 
her sold, nuther ! You know haow I took care o' that caarf. 
Her mother died, an' never saw her. I almost feel as if she 
was mine ; for I brought her up like a baby, and she sucked 
milk from my finger before she could stan'. I'm sure I'm as 
much her mother as harf the hens are mothers of their 
chickens : for they never see some o' the eggs till they are 
put under 'em to hatch, an' they don't know which is which. 

Capt. G. Waal ! yaou've got yer new things, hain't ye ? 
an' I'm glad on't. I'm abaout sick o' them black clo'es o' 
yourn. They look so maugre. For my part, I want ter see 
yer in suthin' bright. 

Mrs. G. I sh'd think yer did! Yer tho't I was abaout 
sixteen, didn't yer? {Opens the door at the back, and pro- 
duces a very showy piece of dress goods, a shawl of a very 
loud pattern, and a boiuiet trivuned with green and red and 
yellow ) Look a' that ! What do you think o' them things! 



CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 5 

Young enough for Mary, or Leafy Jane, either. I never wore 
such bright things when I was a gal ; an' I'm sure I ain't a- 
gwine ter begin naow. 

Capt. G. I don't see why, Lorany ! They ain't no 
brighter than the marygoolds, pQcuniaries (petumas), and 
dadyoluses, yer like so well, in the garden, or even the per- 
Salter roses. 

Mrs. G. That's a different thing. I ain't a flower-garden ; 
I do wish the men-folks 'd let their wives buy their own 
clo'es, or give 'em the money to buy 'em with, (Siis down 
and braids on her mat.) 

Capt. G. Why, Lorany ! the wimmen folks ain't used to 
layin' out money. We can make it spend a great deal better 
'n they can. 

Mrs. G. P'r'aps yer can ; but we'd like what we bought 
ourselves a great deal better ; I do wish they'd let us buy our 
own clo'es, I say, or give us the money to buy 'em with, so's 
we could suit ourselves 

Capt. G. Wall, I snum, yer as bad as the lectur'- 
woman Pete Rosson told on. He said she said wimmen ort- 
ter have their own private pusses, same's the men, and other 
things tew ; and that the Legi.slater ort to see tew't, but that 
they was tew busy, — trying to settle the size of a bar'l o' 
cramberries, an' talkin' baout seUin' eggs by weight, and sich 
things, — to care what becomes o' wimmin's rights. Selhn* 
eggs by weight! what durned nonsense ! Some on *em would 
take twenty to make a paound, and some wouldn't take mor'n 
eight, an' where'd yer cookin' go ter, I'd like ter know ? 

Mrs. G. Waal, Nathan, I don't care nuthin' abaout that ! 
I shall put twelve eggs inter my old-fashioned paound cake, 
as the recipee sez, whether they're big or little. But I do 
care about the caarf. I'd almost ruther you'd 'a' sold 
me ! 

Capt. G. Wall, I vum to vummy ! 

Mrs. G. You knew haow much I alius tho't on her 'cause 
httle Sally loved her so ; an' 'a ''ore she died she'd be'n a-readin' 
so:ne o' them old pictur'-books, an' she said the caarf had eyes 



6 CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 

just like one on 'em in it, an' so she named the caarf May 
Donna, or some sich name. (_Wipes her eyes.') 

Capt. G. Consarn it all ! Lorany, don't cry! There ! 
There ! I'll pick up the money, Lorany, I'll pick up the 
money. {Aside) I wonder if there is anything in them wim- 
min's rights, after all! {Puts the money in his pocket. Sits 
in chair tipped back against the wall, and eats an apple, cut- 
ting it with his jack-knife^ 

{Enter Leafy Jane and JoHii Quincy Adams, the latter 
dragging a small log of wood.) 

Mrs. G. {looking up). Where yer be'n all the arternoon ? 

J. Q. A. Ben to the wharf, chippin'. 

L. J. {lisping). Yeth, we chipped and got our bathkeths 
full, and the thkipperth [skipper'' s) boy, he thed, ' There, take a 
log' — and we took one. 

Capt. G. The skipper's boy ! — who's he ? 

J. Q. A. He's the skipper's son. 

Capt. G. What skipper's son ? 

J. Q. A. Why ! the captain of the Betsey Ludgitt. He's 
down there to the wharf, unloadin' his wood. And his boy, 
he's real hunkey ! He give me all these butnuts {shows them) 
and this gum, — see this gum, — real spruce gum ! — none 
o' your Burgundy pitch and candle-grease, such as you buy 
to the store. 

Mrs. G. Gum ! Then I s'pose you'll go to chawin' agin ! 
. J Q. A. I 11 bet I will. It's rippin' good ! {Chews.) 

L. J {lisps). Marm, he sthiks hith cud on the head-board, 
and it makth a white plathe. I theen it when I make the 
bed. 

Mrs. G. Sticks his cud on the head-board ! What on 
airth do you mean ? 

L. J. Yeth, hith cud o' gum. He doth it motht every 
night, when he hath gum. 

Mrs. G. What do you do that for ? 

J. Q. A. I stick it there when I go to sleep, so when I 
wake up in the middle of the night I can have a good chaw 
to pass away the time. 



CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 7 

Capt. G. Haw ! Haw ! Haw ! 

Mrs. G. John Quincy Adams Gandy ! What '11 yer do 
next ! 

J. Q. A. Go a-fishin', I guess, marmy. {^Kisses her.") 

Capt. G. What's the skipper's name ? 

J. Q. A. Miller — Solomon Miller; and his son's name's 
William, 

L. J. And the cook'th name ith Henry Mudgett. 

Mrs. G. The cook ! What der yer know abaout the 
cook? 

L. J. He'th real nithe. I thaw him lath fall. Hith 
mother an' grandfather live down to Nantucket. Hith grand- 
father thalth {salis) down fith, nam'th {name's) Zabulon, and 
they have a big houth an' a lot of land. 

Capt. G. A lot o' sand, I guess you mean. Haow'd yer 
come ter know 'em so well ! 

J. Q. A. Oh ! They was up here in the fall when we went 
a-chippin' with Mary, and they talked with us a good deal. 

L. J. Yeth, an' the thkipper'th thon kept lookin' at 
Mary. 

J. Q. A. Yes, and so did Hank at you. 

L. J. Hith name ain't Hank ! it'h Henry ! 

J. Q. A. Oh, Lawks ! 

Mrs. G. Whar is Mary ? 

J. Q. A. We left her down to the wharf, an' she was a 
talkin' to the skipper's son. 

L. J. Yeth, and the thkipper came out, and he talked, an' 
they all laughed, and he thed to John Pin, " Run along, Totty, 
with your log o' wood. They'll foUer ye, an' tell yer pa an' 
ma all about it." 

J. Q. A. I guess I aint Totty! {Chewing.) I seen 'em 
an' after they done it, — 

L. J. Oh, John Pin Ad ! you muthn't thay ' I theen,' Mary 
theth. You can't thay ' theen ' nor ' done,' unleth you can thay 
have ' before it ; an' you can't thay ' I theed,' at all. 

J. Q. A. I guess I can too. Mary needn't feel so big 
'cause she's ben to Bradford 'cademy three months. 



8 CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 

L. J Yeth, you mutht thay ' I have thawed,' and * I hain't 
theen,' and ' I have did,' and ' I hain't done it,' and you'll be 
right- 

J. Q A. Poh ! you ain't right at all ! Hear me. You 
must say ' I have done, I have seen,' or ' I saw and I did ' ; and 
you must never say ' I seed, I sawed, I seen,' nor ' I done it.' 
That's what Mary says. 

L. J. Father thayth 'I theen and I done'; and I gueth 
what father theth ith about right. 

Capt. G. O child! Yer mustn't talk as I do. Mary 
knows what's proper to say, better' n yer old dad. He 
never had no edication. There was no 'cademy for him. 

Mrs G. Nor me, nuther. Gals wa'n't 'lowed to go to 
school in my time, daown to Plymouth, when my folks lived 
there. There was too many boys wanted to go ; and the gals 
had to stay ter hum, to make room for 'em. 

{Enter Mary atid William.) 

Mary. Father, here's Captain Miller's son. I made his 
acquaintance down at the wharf last fall. {Goes to Mrs. G., 
seats herself 071 a stool near her, and arranges rags, and 
hands thefn to her.) 

Capt. G. {rising and shaking hands with Will). Is that 
so? 

Will. Yes! and, when I went home, I told the folks 
all about her and the children, and the Captain and Mrs. 
Gandy ; and mother said one of her girl friends, a real in- 
timate, married a Gandy. 

Mrs. G. What was her name afore she was married? 

Will. Johnson. 

Mrs. G. Plumy Johnson, as I'm alive ! 

Will. Yes, her name was Plumy — Plumy Johnson. 

Mrs. G. {shaking his hand) Wal, if I ain't right glad ter 
see yer. Set right daown an' tell us all abaout your folks. 

Will {sitting). There ain't much to tell. Father, he's 
skipper of the Betsey Ludgitt, and we live in North Pitt- 
ston, Maine. We've got a nice little place there, and there's 
ten of us children. I am the oldest 



CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 9 

Capt. G. {sitting). Haow long yer be'n skippin' ? 

Will. About five years. I've got so now I can handle a 
boat, and one of the other boys is going to take my place. 

Capt. G. What are you goin' ter dew ? 

Will. There's a man out West, clear beyond the Ohio, 
that wants me to run a boat on the Mississippi, up and down. 
It's a steamboat. He's got a good mate for her that knows 
all about the ingine, and he says I can learn the ropes about 
that fast enough. But I don't know. I hate to go so far 
from home, and almost alone too. {He looks conscious.) 

Mrs. G. I should think yer would. Doii't stand gaw- 
pin' raound, Leafy Jane. Go 'long and git yer knittin'-work. 
(L. J. obeys and seats herself on the log. J. Q. A. bothers 
her.) And yer marm, what does she say ? 

Will. Oh ! marm, she hates to have me go ; but she's 
more wilhngthan she would be, 'cause Hank Mudgitt, a likely 
Nantucket boy, wants to go with me, to be the cook. He's 
been cooking for father. His marm was a Folger, and knew^ 
my marm when she lived to Nantucket, and she says I'd 
better not lose the chance. 

Capt. G. Folger? Folger? Why! I've heerd that name 
afore. I knew a Captain Folger onct, of the barque Hulda 
Griggs. He had a lot o' boys, an' one on 'em went to col- 
lege, and turned out a smart lawyer. I guess yer'd better 
not lose the chance. Lots o' boys go West, and they do 
well, or they don't come back to tell us. Horace Greeley told 
'em all to go West, in his Trybune, you know, when he wrote 
the whole on't. " Go West, young man," he says, though he 
didn't go himself. But I s'pose his advice was jest as good, 
same as the guide-board p'ints the way it never goes. 

Will. The man that wants me says it's a good steamboat, 
with a nice, clean cabin for a family to hve in, if a captain had 
one. 

Capt. G. Is it a side-wheeler or a skre-you ? 

J. Q. A. Oh ! father, all them Mississippi steamboats are 
side-wheelers, and they have to be made flat-bottomed on ac- 
count of the snags in the river, and the shallow water, so's 



10 CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 

they can run 'em right up to the shore, where there 's no 
landing. Oliver Optic says so in one of his books. 

Capt. G. Dew tell ! I'd ruther have a sailin' vessel. Give 
me a good three-masted schaouner, with a spankin' breeze to 
make her go, and a bower anchor to cast when she comes 
inter port. 

Will. The man says he'll pay me so much a year, enough 
to live on, and give me a certain per cent on the freight, and a 
chance to buy into the vessel in two years. 

Capt. G. A smackin' good chance, I should say. I advise 
yer to snap at it. When does he want ye .'' 

Will. Right off, in a month or so, and now, if I could get 
anybody, besides Hank Mudgitt, to go with me {looks at 
Mary), I shall write right off and accept the offer. 

Capt. G. Somebody ter go with ye besides Hank ! 
What do you want anybody else for ? Ain't he a good cook ? 
Mrs. G. What on airth do you mean ? 
Will, {to Capt. G.) Yes, but I want somebody, some- 
body to be — my — wife. 

Capt. G. Dew tell ! What kind of a wife do yer want ? 
Not one o' them gals that wears bangs an' boot-heels, an' go 
a-teetering along the road ? 

Will. No, I don't want one of that kind. Mary — Mary 
says she'll go with me if you are both- willing. 
Mrs. G. Aour Mary ! Mary Gandy ! 
Capt. G. Wal, I swan to man ! 

Mrs. G. Why ! Mary, where'd he git a chance to ask 
yer.? 

Mary. I saw him first, mother, as I told you, last fall, 
when I went down to the wharf with the children, chipping. 
You know you didn't want them to go alone. He said then 
he should come back in the spring, and hoped he'd see me 
again. 

Will. And I have seen her several times ; and the other 
day I told her about the steamboat, and she lowed she was 
willing to go with me. 

Mrs. G. I thought she was 'mazin' fond o' chippin* all to onct. 



CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. II 

Mary. I guess you mean that ' I promised,' don't you, 
William ? 

Will. Yes, you promised, and I told father; and he said 
he guessed it was all right. He'd known o' Captain Gandy 
quite a spell. The Nancy Paige lay at the wharf alongside 
the Betsey Ludgitt once, down to Castine. 

J. Q. A. {trying to metid a whip-lash). By darn ! 

L. J. My Thunday-thkool teacher theth you muthn't thay 
by darn ; but if you mutht thay by anything, you can thay by 
jollerth (Jollers). 

J. O. A. I saw the skipper's son kiss Mary, and she 
kissed him just as he give me a log o' wood. {Singing 
derisively?) Kissin' the fellers, kissin' the fellers ! 

(Will rises in confusion, and goes to back of stage.) 

Mrs. G. Stop ! John Quincy Adams Gandy ! 

Capt. G. (walking about). I snum to pucker. Wal ! 
seein' it's all made up between yer, I don't see as we have 
anything to do abaout it. 

Mrs. G. I don't know as it would do any good for me to 
say no, even if I wanted to. (Ti? William) Haow long 
you goin' to be raound here ? 

Will. Another week. Then I must go home with father 
to get my things and what money I've saved up, then come 
back and buy the fixings to furnish the cabin with. If 
Mary's ready by that time, we will start for the Mississippi 
about the first of June. 

Capt. G. Better come here every day, and let us see 
something of ye. P'r'aps Mary will conclude not to go, if 
she sees too much on ye. 

Mrs. G. Yes. Come right here and stay. I feel as if 
Plumy Johnson's son must be a good boy; an', if Mary is set 
on havin' ye, I want to get some acquainted with my new 
son-in-law. (Mary rises and crosses to William.) 

L. J. I geth he ain't the only thon-in-law you'll have, 
mother. 

Mrs. G. I hope he'll be so good that I shall want 
another. 



12 CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 

J. Q. A. {trying to snap L. J.'s ears). I s'pose you want 
to be a loveress, too. {Makes up a face.) 

L. J. Voit won't be. 

J. Q. A. I will, too. 

L. J. You won't, nuther. {Makes up a face.) 
Old Phin Gan-dowdy, 
He'th an' old rowdy. 

J. Q. A. This is the way you'll look when you are a 
loveress. {Imitates a fine young lady.) How are you. 
Hank ! Mrs. Henry Mudgitt ! 

L. J. Go way — you gump ! 

Mrs. G. Do, children, stop yer bickerin' ! {To Mary) 
I declare for't' I hate to hev yer go so far from hum. But, 
then {with a sigh), my mother lives e'en a'most to the jumpin'- 
off place daown East ; and I hain't seen her this five year. 

Capt. G. {goes to Mrs. G. and puts hand on her 
shoulder). It's the way o' natur', mother. The Bible 
says : " A man shall leave his father and mother, an' shall 
be united to his wife." 

J. Q. A. Well, father, it don't say she shall. It says 
he. 

Capt. G. It means the same, any way. The Bible alius 
means she when it says he. It .means 'em both. Genesis 
says, yer know, chap. V., verse 2, Male and female created 
he them, an' blessed them, an' called their name Adam, in 
the day when they was created. The Bible said that in 
the beginning. Even old Pete Rosson allows that. 

Mrs. G. I wonder yer hadn't thought o' that when yer 
sold my caarf, aotir caarf, mine as well as yourn. 

Capt. G. {walking off). I van ! I never did. 

Mrs. G. If he did creat' men an' wimmin ekal, an' call 
their name Adam, just as we call aourn Gandy, one on us 
has no right to sell the things that belong to both without 
askin' each other's leave. 

Capt. G. {returning). I don't s'pose they have, Lorany. 
If yer don't beat 'em all in an argiment. {Aside) Hang 
that caarf! Come, mother, don't let's bicker any more 



CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 13 

abaout that. {To Mary) Yer'll have quite a weddin' 
tower, won't ye, Mary, 'way out on to the Mississippi ? Yerll 
have ter work spry ter git yer weddin' toggery ready. Whar 
yer goin' ter be married ; ter hum ? 

Mrs. G. Lucky I saved my old receipee for weddin' 

cake. 

Will. We think we'd better go to the minister's, and have 
it done quiet like, the very morning before we start. We 
sha'n't feel like making much of a touse about it, 'cause 
everybody '11 be crying to see Mary go off. 

Mrs. G. And, then, our relations live so far off, they 
couldn't any on' em come. Lucky yer made them sheets, 
Mary. Yer wouldn't 'a' had half time enough naow to get 
'em done. 

Capt. G. I van ! mother. It reminds me o' the time 
when we went to live on the Nancy Paige. 

Mrs. G. So it does me. 

Capt. G. There's" nothing like the sea to live on, is there, 
mother ? {Sings.) 

" I'm on the sea, 

I am where I would ever be, 

The deep, the dark, the rolling sea." 

Mary. You'll have to sing it " river " for us, father. 
J. Q. A. {takes up the refrain, and snaps his whip at the 
end of each line). 

I am where I would ever be-iver, 
The deep, the dark, the rolling re-iver. 

L. J. Thtop! you thap-head {sap-head), you thilly coot ! 
(William and Mary whisper together.) 

Capt. G. I guess I'll go an' fodder them caows. {Hum- 
tning?) 

" An' turnin' raound he straight did feel 
A pywison sarpient byite hywis hee-ee-el." 

{Exit R.) 



14 CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 

Will, (taking; Mary by both hands). Be all ready, now 
Mary, when I come back ? If I can, I'll come on so as to 
stay a day or two before we're married. But I'll be here 
in season, any way. You fix the day, and let me know. 
And write often (whispers), dear Mary, won't you."* 

Mary. Yes, William. 
Will. Good-by ! 

Mary. Good-by! {Exit William, l.) 

J. Q. A. Good-by! Good-by! Smack, smack! 

Disposition of characters at end of Act I. Mrs. G. 
sitting at table braiding fnat. Mary standing at left, with 
her hands clasped before her, looking down. J. Q. A. and 
L. J. in centre, bickeritig. 



ACT II. 



Cabin of the Creole Bride, a Mississippi steamboat cosily 
furnished. Doors R. and L. Table- and cradle C. Pic- 
tures. Four books oji a little shelf A parasol and hand- 
kerchief lie on the table. Mary, the Captain's wife, sits 
by the cradle sewing. 

Mary (sings). 

" By low baby, 
By low baby, 
By low baby, 
By low by." 

(Rises.) 

There ! he's asleep at last. He keeps awake just as long 
as he can, I do believe. {Takes a book front the shelf ^ I 
don't know what I should do this stormy weather, I am sure, 
if it weren't for these books. Away up here, on this river, 
where we don't get a newspaper but once in two weeks ! 



CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 1$ 

(Turns over the books.) I am tired of "Baxter's Saint's 
Rest," and I know " Alonzo and Melissa " by heart. I sup- 
pose 1 ought to read my Bible more, but here's this book on 
navigation. {Reads.) "Thorns' Navigator," by Janet 
Thorms, a Yankee school marm, they say, up near Boston. 
It seems fresh all the time. I like to study it, too, when I 
am rocking the cradle. {Sits and reads.) Somehow, it 
seems to come natural to me to know all about a boat, and I 
love any kind of a one. How they skip round the bend of 
the river, and over the sea, at home ! I wonder why they 
call a vessel she I Father says they ought to call steam- 
boats he, because they smoke so. Dear father ! how I 
should like to see him, and hear him sing ! 
{Enter Phus, r.) 

Phus {in a loud voice). Mis', de cap'n say — 

Mary. Sh !• you'll wake the baby. 

Phus {in a loud whisper). Mis', de cap'n dun tole me 
he not feel well, an' you come to de weel-house. Phus tote 
de baby. 

Mary {rising hastily). Take good care of him. {Exit 

Phus. Take good care ob hitn. {Imitates her voice .^ and 
tip-toes round the room^ How golly fine it am to be de 
cap'n's mis', a-sittin' down har all fix' up, and den walkin' on 
deck wid de par-sol, totin' de baby. Oh, Lor! {Sings 
softly?^ 

Min' de pick'niny, 
Min' de pick'niny, 
Take good care ob him. 

Wot's dem books ? I dunno, caze I can't read 'em all 
yit. But the cap'n's mis', she try larn me. Lemme see. 
{Takes up a book and reads.) " Meel-iss-see-felt-a-cold- 
han'-on-her-fore- head - an' - she - scream - ded - scream - ded." 
Wot's dat ? Golly ! I can't do dat. {Shuts up the book.) 
Sh ! sh ! de baby's wokem up. He'll holler ef he see me. 



1 6 CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 

I'll make him tink I'm de cap'n's mis'. {He takes the para- 
sol atid opens it, spreads the hatidkerchief over his face, and 
sits doiun by the cradle. Enter Captain Miller, r, lean- 
ing on Mary's shoulder.') 

Mary. Tell me, dear, just how you feel. (^Sees Phus.) 
Oh, Phus ! you'll scare the baby. 

Phus. Mis', de baby was a gwine to wokem up, and I 
specks he'd tink 'twas you. 

Capt. M. Phus, take off that rig, and go on deck, you 
lubber! {Exit Phus, r.) Oh, I don't know. I feel just as 
I did once when I was a boy, before I had the typhoid fever, 
— tired all over. {Sits.) My head is as light as a feather, 
and my feet are heavy as lead. I don't feel as if I could 
step a step. 

Mary. Lie down a little while, and perhaps you'll feel 
better. How much farther do we go up river ? 

Capt. M. About two hundred miles. We shall reach the 
last station in a few days. (Takes off his jacket and shoes 
wearily, as he talks?) Patsy is at the wheel, and you can 
bring me word if he wants anything. 

Mary {aside). Oh, dear! I know he is going to be 
sick. {To him) Where is the chart of the river ? 

Capt. M. On deck, in the wheel-house. 

Mary. And all the things you use 1 

Capt. M. Yes. Why 1 

Mary. Because I want to know, so that you can have a 
good long nap. 

Capt. M. Our course is all marked out, and what to 
steer by ; but I shall feel better, I hope, after I have had 
some sleep. You'd better go on deck, once in a while, see 
how things are going on, and let me know. {Exit L., hold- 
ing by the doorway. ) 

Mary {sitting). What shall I do ! away up here, a hun- 
dred miles from a doctor. I am afraid William has the 
river fever, the same as Phus had last year. Oh ! mother ! 
mother ! If I could only have you with me ! If I could only 
get word to you ! {Leans her head on the table ^ 



CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 1/ 

{Enter Phus, r.) 

Phus. Whar de cap'n ? Pats say he want know which 
way ter go, and de cap'n must tell him. 

Mary. Phus, do you remember how sick you were last 
year ? 

Phus. An' 1 wouldn't 'a' libed ef you hadn't 'a' nussed me. 

Mary. Do you want to pay me for it ? 

Phus. I ain't got no money, mis' ; but I prays ebery 
night : Lor' bress de cap'n's wife. She nuss me ; make me 
well. 

Mary. I don't want any money, Phus. You can pay me 
in a better way. 

Phus. An' I sings in de cook-house w'en de pork's a- 
fizzlin', an' Hank he likes it. {Sings mournfully^ 

I'se poor Jo-Phus, — 'Lijah cum down. 
Sick in de 'teamboat, — 'Lijah cum down. 
Cap'n's mis' nuss me, — 'Lijah cum down. 
{Livelier^ An' den I gits well, — 'Lijah cum down. 
Swing low de goolden charyot. 
Rock de baby, car' long de cap'n's mis'. 
'Lijah cum down. 

(Mary does not listen^ 

Mary. Phus, listen to me. The captain is very sick, and 
you can help me if you will ; and more than pay me for any- 
thing I have done for you. 

Phus. I'll do ebryting. You so good to poor Phus — 
make me well, an' larn me to read — see here. {Reads.) 
"Mee-liss-see-felt-a-scream-ded," no, dat ain't de place; 
" col' — col' — han' — " {cold hand.) 

Mary. Never mind reading now, Phus. I want you to 
stay here while I go on deck, and listen to the captain. If 
he wakes up and wants anything, you must go in and tell 
him I will come right down ; then you come and call me. 
{Exit R.) 

Phus. Yaas, mis' ! {Applies ear to keyhole of door, L.) 

Curtain. 



1 8 CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 



ACT III. 



Forward deck of the Creole Bride. Wheel-house at R. 
gangway and railing at L., table and two catnp chairs at 
c, chairs c. Mary at the wheel, with the chart and com- 
pass beside her. 

Mary. I wonder if I am all right here ! The course is 
not very clearly marked out. Willie is still so sick that he 
can't tell me any more about steering, and Patsy don't seem 
to know anything but his engine, or how to go when it is 
plain sailing. {Studies the chart.) Let me see ! We must 
stop at three more stations before we reach the mouth of the 
Washita, — Munroe, Columbia, and Harrisonburg ; and then 
we go down the Red and Yellow to Baton Rouge. Oh ! yes, 
I see. We steer right here by Dead Man's Bluff, and then 
by Run-away Swamp. How lucky I studied that book on 
navigation ! It helps me so much to understand these 
marks on the chart. If Patsy would only behave well, I 
should be all right ; but he don't like the idea of being 
" bossed," as he calls it, " by a woman." 
{Enter Patsy, r.) 

Mary. Patsy, have you thrown out the line lately ? 

Patsy. Yes, mum. 

Mary. Where are we ? 

Patsy. Be-gorries ! I dunno, mura. 

Mary. How much water .-* 

Patsy. Faix ! the lid was varry well down, and the 
mud was yaller. 

Mary. That may mean something to you, I suppose. 
You can't read. Bring me the line. {He bring it from L.) 

Patsy. It's tin fut, mum. {Aside) Bedad, she thinks 
she's cap'n. 



CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 1 9 

Mary. That'll do. Take the line forward, and mind 
your engine. " 

Patsy {muttering). Mind the injun, is it ? O' coorse. 
P/Iusha and faix, I wuU! I'm the lasht lad not to be mindin' 
me injun. {Drops the line and goes toward R.) 

Mary. Patsy ! 

Patsy. Vart do yer want ? I can't be lavin' my injun arl 
the time. True for yez ! 

Mary. Patsy ! I told you to take the WnQ forward / 

Patsy. I'll not do it, mum, for all of yez. Ye're not the 
cap'n ! 

^AKY {looking at him severely'). Patsy! Take that line 
forrard, and be quick about it! 

Patsy {takes the line to L., and exit R., mttttering). I'll 
not be bossed by no woman ! 

Mary. I don't know what I shall do with Patsy. He 
threatens to leave me at the next station, and I can't find a 
decent engineer short of Baton Rouge ; and I mustn't trouble 
William with it, he is still so feeble. 

{Enter Phus, l.) 

Phus. Mis', de cap'n say he feel bet' as did, an' he wan' 
terseeyer. 

Mary. Very well, I'll go down. You call Patsy to stand 
at the wheel ; and then you go and stay with the 
baby. 

Phus. Yes, mis'. {Calls, r.) Pats I Har ! you Pats, 
lave dat injyne an' cum an' stan' by de wheel. Pay — ats ! 
Pay — ats! Pay — a — ts! Cum, Pats, to de weel-house ! 
Mis* say so. 

{Enter Pats r. He takes the wheel.) 

Mary {to Patsy). Mind your helm now ; keep her on her 
course. {Exit Mary, r.) 

Patsy. Ugh! Bedad ! 

Phus {sits down at the wheel-house and takes his banjo). 
Bress de Lor', de cap'n's bet' as was. He say he mean 
git well. {Sings and rocks himself.) 



20 CAPTAIN MARY MILLER- 

Lor' bress de cap'n, — 'Lijah cum dovrn. 
Lor' bress de capVs mis'. — 'Lijah cum down. 
An' let 'im git well, — 'Lijah cum down. 
As dis poor Jo-Phus did, — 'Lijah cum down. 
Swing low de goolden charvot. 
Car' long de baby, cap'n, an' de cap'n's mis', 
'Lijah cum down. 

Patsy ipittitt,? *" ^^ ^"^ "f ^ -^f^^-^*"')' ^"^^^ ' 

Shiop ver hullabaloo, you black nayger. 

Phc's. Dere aia^t no sich man round here. My name s 
Jo-see-phus, Herodvtus Miller. (^Exif L.) 

iRc-^uicr Mary. R., half supporting Captaik Miller. 
who trus to walk; h^ sits doTcn mar th^ tabic 'wearily.) 

Capt M (^feeblv). Ifs no use, Mary, I cant walk. 1 
can-'t use mv less a mite, and thafs a fact The malaria has 
settled in theii and I don't know as I shall ever walk 

^Urt {stands beside him, and keeps her eye on the vesseTs 
course). Yes, vou will, dear. The doctor says so ; and he 
savs vou must 'get awav from the boat go into the moun- 
tains' and stay awhile, and then you will be as weU as 

^^Capt M Oh, Mary ! If I could only go to New England. 

I feel as' if it would cur^ me. If I could only go to M^ne, 

and see the WTiite HiUs, aU covered with snow on top, from 

behind father's house, see mother, and ha%-e some of their 

good victuals— (JJe breaks down;) 

MvRY You shall go. It won't cost any more to go 

there than it will to pay your board at some place near the 

mountains ; and no matter if it does. 

Caft M How can I leave the vessel? If I take the 
monev to go East with, I shaVt be able to meet my pay- 
ment^, and shall lose my chance of buying mto her. 

Ma.ry(/<7 Patsy). Ease her ofiF a couple of pomts. {lo 
\ViLLiAM) Never mind that : Dont worry. Ifs better to 
lose everything else than to lose your health. But you w.U 
not lose the boat I can run her whUe youre gone. Only 



CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 21 

three months I The doctor says he thinks that will 
do. 

Capt. M. I don't know about your running the boat, 
Mary. Ours is a thousand-mile trip, you know, next time, 
and it's easier to come down than it is to go up. The Yellow- 
red winds like a corkscrew. 

Mary. I know that, William ; but I think I can manage 
her. I have done it ; and here we are safe so far, and 
no accident yet. 

Capt. M. {considering). This cargo is secure, and the 
next one all promised. But I hate to leave you, Mary, and 
the baby. 

Mary (Jo Patsy). Keep her on her course, boy! (To 
William) I hate to have you go, William, only I know 
that it is for your good ; and then, if I go, you'll have to give 
up the boat, and we sha'n't have anj-thing to live on ; and 
that will never do. 

Capt. M. You're right, Mary, as you always are. 
{Enter Hank, the cook, 'with a waiter full of dishes^ 

Hank. Here's your lunch, sir. 

Capt. M. Why, Hank ! Have you come again ? It 
isn't more than half an hour since I ate my breakfe^t. 

Hank {drawling). Yes, it is, sir. It's an hour. And 
the doctor says you was to eat every hour. 

Capt. M. {looks at the waiter). What have you got 
now? 

Mary {to Patsy, hurriedly). Hard a-port, there ! Give 
that snag a wide berth ! {She goes quickly towards the 
wheel-house.) Go below. Patsy, and fire up, or we sha'n't get 
to Munroe tiU moonrise. {Exit Patsy, l., muttering^ 

Hank {to William). Waal, tha's some fixings the Ind- 
ians say is good for invaliges, and one on 'em showed me 
how to cook 'em. 

Capt. M. What are they, Hank ? Name over your bill 
of fare. 

Hank. Waal, cap, this era's com-ponCv o' coose ; and a 
dodger or so ; a slice o' bacon ; a helter-skelter ; some sac- 



22 CAPTAIN MARY MILLER, 

cotash ; two frog's legs pealed and sizzled ; a pigeon biled in 
milk ; some baked punkin ; eels tails soused ; and some no- 
cake. 

Capt. M. VV^hatl what! what! Are you going to stuff 
me to death, or poison me — which ? 

Hakk. Oh, sir ! you needn't eat 'em all. The Injuns 
said if you eat just the right thing for jou, you'd be sure 
to get well. 

Capt. M. I dare say. They'd cure a dog with their 
charms and their notions. 

Hank. Some of the vittals is good, and some pretty mid- 
dlin' poor, but it"s all good for suthin', — or the pigs ! 

Capt. M. (^laughing). I shouldn't wonder. (^Looking 
oi'er the waiter.) What's baked punkin for, Hank .'' It 
looks like raw, dried potato-parings. 

Hank. The Indians said 'twas to chaw, and give 3-ou an 
appetite. 

Mary {frorn the ivheel-house). What in the world are 
the soused eel's-tails for ? 

Hank. Oh, to make you feel lively, and cherk you up a 
little. They make brains. 

Capt. M. What next ? What's the no-cake for, and 
where is it ? Cake sounds kind o' good. And hot biscuit. 
Mother's hot biscuit ! Oh ! how I should like some of 
them. 

Hank. Well, the no-cake is that aire white stuff pfiled up 
on that aire plate. It looks like something goodish ; but 
when 3'ou chaw it, it feels like sand. The Injuns eat it, and 
they said 'twould make the cap'n sleep good. 

Capt. M. I should think it would, — and dream of my 
grandmother. If it chews like sand, it will be heavy 
enough. 

Hank. There ain't no decent vittals for a sick man to eat 
in these diggings. "Tain't half so good as the Nantucket 
feed, such as my marm used to cook. 

Capt. M. Oh, Hank ! don't speak of it ! How I should 
like some fried perch, — some good fresh salt-water perch, 



CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 23 

with their heads on ; and some steamed dams, fresh-dug 
Nantucket clams, with the shells all gaping at you. I feel as 
if I could eat a good four-quart tin pan full this minute, 
shells and all. 

Hank. I'd I'ke to make you a rippin' good chowder, sir. 
Such as we have ter hum. What you want is real, good, 
hard, fresh cod-fish or haddock, head and all, some white 
potatoes (none o' your flat yellow sweets), some onions, some 
Boston crackers, and a generous rasher of salt strip pork 
(none o' your middlings). But I can't do it. They never 
heerd of a Boston cracker, and there ain't a decent piece o^ 
fresh salt-water fish between here and Nantucket. Only 
this darned canned stuff; and that's enough to p'isen a 
feller. • 

Mary (to V^ ilia au, from the wheel-house). You'll have 
some chowder when you get home, dear ; and you'll eat 
again of all the old New England food. 

Hank. Oh, sir ! you goin' hum ? 

Capt. M. I think of it. 

Mary {to Hank). Yes, he is going home ; and pretty 
soon, too. 

Hank. If you do, sir, I hope you'll take a skip down to 
Nantucket, and see my folks. Marm '11 be mighty glad to 
see you. I'll write to her, and send her some money, and 
you can take the letter, sir, right along. And please, sir, 
fetch me word how the old place looks, and if marm seems 
comfortable. 

Capt. M. Yes, Hank, I'll take your letter ; and if I can't 
go to see your mother, I will send it to her by express. 

Hank. Thank you, sir, thank you ; and if you should go 
to Annisport, and see Miss Leafy Jane, please tell her I 
hain't forgot her, and if you can say I've been a good feller — 
and behaved tip-top — 

Capt. M. Why, Hank ! do you remember that little fly- 
away ? You steady old boy, you. Of course you've been a 
good fellow, and I'll tell her so, — if I see her, — but why 
don't you write to her yourself ? 



24 CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 

Hank. Oh, sir ! she might not like it. 

Capt. M. That's so. Well, do as you like. Hank. 
You can leave the waiter. I will eat all I can of your con- 
coctions. {Exit Hank, r.) 

Capt. M. {Htrning towards Mary). I did not know that 
there was any love-making in that quarter. 

Mary. Nor I, neither. 

{Disposition of characters at end of act. Capt. Miller 
at table, c, eating. Mary at the wheel, L.] 

Curtain. 



ACT IV. 



The same as in Act II. Enter Mary, l., with her hands 
full of papers. She sits down at the table. 

Mary. There! The bills of lading are signed, and all 
my accounts are straight, so we are ready to begin again. 
But here we are, still fast at New Orleans, when we 
ought to have got away three days ago. For some reason or 
other I can't get the cargo that was promised, and so I have 
had to fill up with watermelons. Heavy, unprofitable things ! 
{Writes^ I wish I could hear from William. Poor fellow! 
The doctor at home said he must take a sea-voyage ; and he 
has gone off with his father to the Grand Banks, fishing. I 
wish I could see him ! 

{Enter Phus, r., bringing a large watermelon^ 

Phus. Wattermillions is bos' ; dey's bos' an' cool. 

Mary. Why, Phus, what do you want of that water- 
melon ? 

Phus. It's such a golly big one ; and den it's marked so 
peart. * 



CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 2$ 

Mary. Why ! there's hundreds of them on board just as 

good. 

Phus. O no ! mis', dare ain't. Dis one hab de little Vou- 
doo mark dat show dey's sweet ; an' I wanted de baby to 
stick his little toof in it, an' suck de juice. Oh, Lors! 
(^Smacks his lips and sings.) 

" Some are pa'shel to de appel, oddahs clamor fo' de plum ; 
Some fin' 'joyment in de cherry, oddahs make de peaches hum ; 
Some git fas'ned to de onion, oddahs lub de arti-choke ; 
But my taste an' wattahmillion er' bound by a pleasant joke. 

" Hit er meller, hit er juicy, 
Hit er coolin', hit er sweet ! 
Hit er painless ter de stummick — 
Yo' kin eat, an' eat, an' eat 1 " 

I helped you bring 'em on board, didn't I, mis' ? 

Mary. Yes, Phus; you're always handy. I wish you 
could be the mate, in Patsy's place, and help me steer the 
boat. 

Phus. Lor' bress you, mis' ! I couldn't do dat. I should 
steer for all de snags in de riber ; an' git twisted all up in 
de bay-yous, an' run inter all de san'bars. 

Mary. Have you found anybody yet to take Patsy's 
place, if he leaves ? 

Phus. No, mis'. All de boys dey say as dey won't be de 
mate to no woman. Dey say you has no licens', an' can't be 
de cap'n. An' Mass' Rumberg, he cum an' take away de 
Keyhole's Bride. 

Mary. Oh, Phus ! is that what they say? Then that is 
the reason that I could not get the cargo that was promised 
here ; and when they knew, too, that I had been running the 
boat these three months all alone ! 

Phus. When de cap'n cum hum ? 

Mary. Not until December, Phus. 

Phus. Whar's he, mis', now ? 

Mary. Away out to sea, on a ship ; not a steamboat — 



26 CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 

a sailing vessel. The doctor said it would cure him if he 

took a sea-voyage. ,,. . , j /- ir 

Phus. Is de sea bigger dan de Missip' or de Gulf 

Mex' ^ 

Mary. Oh, yes, Phus ! a good deal bigger, and wider, 

too. You can't see across. 

Phus. O, sho! 

Mary {rising and walking abotif). And the waves are 
so hicrh ! and white on the top ! and they come boommg m on 
the rocks ! and the breeze ! Oh ! the breeze is so sweet, so 
salt, so fresh! It is enough to do your soul good to smell 

'^'phus. Golly! mis'. It mus' be hunky, if it's sweet, and 
salt, and fresh, an' comes in boomin' at ye, on de rocks, 

all at once. . x,, j i i 

Mary {_smiling). Better go out agam, Phus, and look 

among the boys for a mate. 
Phus. Yes, mis'. {Exit R.) 

Mary I think I'll write to mother, and tell her my 
troubles. If she can't help me any, it will do me good to 
write ; and I can get Phus to carry it to the Post Office be- 
fore we start. {^She writes:) 

{Enter Mr. Romberg.) 
Mr R {slowly and deliberately-). Mrs. Miller, I came to 
see what you were going to do about the boat. Your hus- 
band has been gone a long time ; and it seems there is no 
prospect of his immediate return. So we might as well talk 
the matter over now as at any other time. 

Mary irises and offers him a seat). Mr. Romberg? I 
don't know as I have seen you before. You are the largest 
owner in the Creole Bride, I believe? Why do you wish to 
know what I am going to do ? {Sitting.) 

Mr R. {sitting). I (and the other owners) don t want 
the boat to be eating her head off here at the wharf 

Mary. We shall not stay here lon-er than this afternoon. 
As soon as I come to terms with my mate, I shall be 
ready to steam her up. 



CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 2/ 

Mr. R. I don't see how you can run this boat. 

Mary {risitig) ^yhy not, sir? I have run her for the 
last three or four months. I carried her 'way up the Red 
and Yellow, and down again to Baton Rouge, through 
the most crooked part of our whole thousand-mile route ; and 
I steered most of the time myself The mate don't know 
much about handling the wheel. 

Mr. R. The merchants, I find, are not willing to trust 
you with a cargo ; so I don't see but you will have to give it 
up. You won't be able to meet your payments ; and I must 
look out for my own property, as well as that of the rest of 
the owners, for it is all in my care. 

Mary. Is not Mr. Miller's contract as captain of the boat 
all right? It does not expire till next year. He is all 
paid up to the first of the month ; and I hope to be able 
to pay the next quarter, — that is, if I can go on running the 
boat. 

Mr. R. Yes, madam ; but you must understand that the 
contract is with Captain Miller, and not with his wife ; that 
is where the trouble is-. Husband and wife are not one in 
this business. Captain Miller's contract is all right, and he 
is paid up ; but if he dies, the whole thing will have to 
be settled. 

Mary {alarmed^. But my husband is not dead. He is 
not going to die ! Why can't I run the boat up to Cairo ? 
I have a full cargo, and another is promised there. I know 
the route for the next three months. I have been over it 
all. 

Mr. R. {rising). Mrs. Miller, you cannot be a captain in 
name. 

Mary. But, Mr. Romberg, I am the captain. 

Mr^ R. No, Mrs. Miller. You may run the boat, but 
you cannot act as captain, — you have no license. The 
fact is, the law does not allow it. That is what the owners 
say ; and we consulted a lawyer, and he gave it as his opin- 
ion, after careful cotisideration, that a woman cannot be 
master of a vessel legally. 



28 CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 

Mary. Then we must lose our chance of owning the 
boat ; and I cannot raise the money needed for the support 
ofmyp>oor sick husband and my Httle baby, — just because 
I am a woman ! Oh ! Mr. Romberg ! this is hard indeed ! 

Mr. R. I suppose it is rather hard; but that is the way 
of the law, in Louisiana, at least, and I think all over the 
United States. When our fathers framed the constitution, 
they thought it was better that woman should be confined to 
the domestic sphere. The home, the home is their place, — 
not the decks of vessels. They wanted to protect -women in 
their proper sphere. 

Mary. Protect them ! Hinder them, I should think ! 

Mr. R. {approaching Mary). If Captain Miller, now, 
were not living, you might find some hkely river-man to 
marry you, and be captain of the boat, in name ; and then 
you could keep on acting as master, — your mate, perhaps, 
— then you'd be all right 

Mary. Marry! The mate! Patsy! Oh, Mr. Rom- 
berg ! Oh, sir ! what do you mean ? 

Mr. R. {aside). Gad ! the women are all alike. How 
they stick to one man ! {To her) I don't see what else you 
can do. 

Mary. There was Captain Tucker's wife ; after he died 
she took the boat. 

Mr. R. Yes, but she did not run it long ; all of us 
owners objected to a petticoat captain, and we discharged 
her. 

Mary (severely). Then what has become of her and all 
her six children ? 

Mr. R. Oh, she tends in a lager-beer saloon in Natchez. 

Mary {indignantly). Yes, and I suppose her children 
are given away or put out to service — all because she is a 
woman ! She has to do this degrading work to get an honest 
living, and all because you wouldn't allow her to do the only 
work she always had done and was best fitted to do. She 
run the boat three years before her husband died. 

Mr. R. Well, she might have married and had some one 



CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 29 

to be her captain. The merchants sent one of their best 
river-men to marry her, but she ordered him off the boat. 

Mary. I don't blame her! 

Mr. R. There ain't much a woman can do round here 
but get married. There's many a likely man that is not a 
river-man who would like to get a good smart Yankee woman 
like you- 

Mary {sharply). Mr. Romberg ! what do you mean ? 

Mr. R. I mean, of course, if your husband does not come 
back, which seems most likely — 

Mary {turning a'way). Oh ! What shall I do ? 

Mr. R. My dear Mrs. Miller ! you must be as wise as a 
serpent as well as harmless as a dove. 

Mary. Oh, sir ! how can I be wise without money, wn'thout 
friends, with my hands tied by a h'ttle child, and my means 
of earning a living taken away ? 

Mr. R. Well, there is a month or two yet before I shall 
be obliged to ask you to give up your husband's papers. 
Meanwhile, you can go on to Cairo, and come back ; go 
along the Red and Yellow, and leave your cargo. You 
needn't take on any more. I'll see you again when you 
come down to New Orleans ; and then, if your husband has 
not returned, we must close up our accounts. That is what 
the rest of the owners say, and I agree. 

Mary. Oh, Mr Romberg ! is there nothing I can do to 
keep the boat 1 Can I not get a license ? Did a woman 
never have a captain's license ? 

Mr. R. I never heard of one. And I don't think there 
ever was one. It would be absurd! But I must bid you 
good-morning. 

Mary. Good-morning, sir. {Exit Mr. Romberg, r.) 
Indeed ! what kind of a woman does he take me to be ! Telling 
me about marrvnng another man so as to have a captain ! 
I will show him that I can be master of my own boat, /go 
into a lager-beer saloon ! As Mary Gandy I would not have 
done it ; and as Mary Miller I certainly shall not. /give up 
the boat ! My William's boat ? Never ! Unless they put 



30 CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 

me on shore by force. JV/iy cannot / get a license ? 77/ 
iry/ and then, if worst comes to worst, I must make my way 
somehow back home again. If I could only hear from 
mother ! (Siis down at the table — arranges papers?^ 
{Enter Phus, R.) 

Phus. O, Lor' ! Mis' Miller ! Here's suthin' I forgits. I 
met de pos'-man out here, an' he hoU'd at me {She does 
not look up.') — " Har, you nig!" I looks round, and sez: 
" Whar ? whar ? I dun' see no nig." He laf, an' sez, " You 
know who dat is ? " " Whar ?" sez I. " On dis let'," sez 
he. "No,"sez I; "whoisit?" " It's Mrs. Mary Miller," 
sez he. "Lor'," sez I, " dat's my cap'n's mis' ; gib it yere." 
" Well, fotch it, then," sez he, " an' be darn quick 'bout it." 
" I will," sez I. (Mary looks up.) 

Mary. A letter ? Oh, give it to me ! How long have 
you had it ? 

Phus. Jes dis minit, mis'. 

Mary {tearing the envelope). From home, and writtwi by 
dear brother John. Dear little fellow ! {Reads.) 

Dear Mary,— 

Mother wants me to write. She says : Tell Mary 
that I talked it all over with your fa'ther, and he asked old Pete 
Rosson, and then I wrote to the lecture woman up to Boston, and 
she says you must have a captain's license so's you can keep the 
boat. And she says you must apply to the Local Inspectors 
(here is a blank for you to fill out), and that if you pass your ex- 
amination they will see that it is sent to Washington to the Solici- 
tor of the Treasury. You must write to Mr. Le Brun or Mr. 
Cholmly, Local Inspectors, New Orleans, La. Do it right off 
before Mr. Romberg gets a chance to take away the boat. And 
oh ! mother says you must sign your own name to the application 
— Mary Miller, or Mary Gandy Miller ('cause it isn't legal to 
sign your husband's name, and Mrs. is nothing but a title). She's 
found out that a woman has no more right, legally, to use her hus- 
band's first name and title than he has to use hers. She says 
Martha Washington had more sense than to call herself Mrs. 
George, or Mrs. General, or Mrs. President Washington. Plain 



CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 3 1 

Martha Washington was good enough for her. And oh ! the 
folks round here are real proud of you, to think you can manage a 
steamboat, and old Pete Rosson says "it's a darned shame you 
have such a hard time, and he hopes you won't give up the ship." 
He expects to go to the Legislature this winter, and he says " if 
the men at Washington don't let you have the captain's license, 
he'll vote agin every mother's son on 'em." 
Yours, as usual, 

John Quincy Adams Gandy. 

Mary (^folding the letter). Dear, dear folks at home ! 
How good they are to tell me just what to do ! I must 
write my application at once. {Sits down at the table^ 

Phus. Is de folks well, mis', an' de cap'n .'* 

Mary {writing) Yes, Phus, the folks are well ; but the 
letter is not from the captain. I do not expect to hear from 
him at present. 

Phus. O, Lor' ! mis, is dat so ? 

Mary. Yes, Phus. You wait round till I get this letter 
done, then you carry it to the post-office. I want an answer 
from it, right off, as soon as I can get it. 

Phus. Yes, mis'. {He goes out, 1.., keeps popping his 
head in and tiptoeing round.) 

Mary {folding up the letter, and putting it in a long 
envelope). There ! my blank is all filled out, and my letter 
written ; both signed plain Mary Miller, which means to me 
{sighing) that I must hereafter stand alone, — legally, at any 
rate, and take the responsibility of all my actions. No more 
hiding behind a husband's or a father's name. Plain Mary 
Miller ! A good name, and I must show that I am worthy 
of it. {To Phus) There, be as quick as you can ; and then 
come back here and take care of the baby while I go on 
deck. {She goes to the cradle^ 

Phus. Yes, mis'! I'm skippin'. {Exiti^^ 

Curtain. 



32 CAPTAIN MARY MILLER, 



ACT V. 



Same as in Act III., with the addition of a hammock slung 
near the wheel-house, containing the baby. Enter Mary 
from the wheel-house with a small sailor hat and reefer on. 
She takes them off, and lays them on a chair as she 
talks. 

Mary. Here we are at last, safe at New Orleans. 
I wish I could hear from Washington ; and why don't 
I hear from William ? I sent home the last mone)' I 
had saved up, and I shall have no more if they take the boat 
away. I can't give her up ! And 1 can't do anything else to 
earn a living. This is my business — my life. 
{Enter Phus, l.) 

Phus. Oh, mis' ! Pats he say he won't help unload de 
boat ; an' I can't get nobody to help, as you tole me. Dey 
all say dey won't be bos' by no woman. 

Mary (sighs). Well, Phus, youWe willing to work for me, 
ain't you ? You won't leave your mistress, will you ? 

Phus. Neber ! No, mis' ! 1 alius work for you an' de 
cap'n an' de baby. Hank, too, he stay. He ben hawlin 
out de cargo like sixty. He say wimmin good 'nough for 
him. He ruther be cook to wimmin bos' ; cos dey knows 
more 'bout de fixin's, an' dey neber sez, " darn dat stuff." 

Mary. Phus, you run and tell Patsy he can go. He's all 
paid up; and I don't want him any more. And, here! take 
my reefer and hat down into the cabin. I sha'n't want them 
at present. 

Phus. Yes, mis'. {He goes out, "B.^ 

Mary {swinging the hammock gently). Must I leave my 
happy home, where I came a bride ? {Leans over the baby) 
My baby's birthplace ? Why ! I love every timber in this 
tight little steamboat She is as dear to me as one of the 



CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 33 

biggest houses on the river is to the fine lady who lives in 
it. 

Phus {re-entering). Oh, mis' ! Pats he say he will go wid 
you up riber a piece, to where he woman lib, an' get off 
dar. 

Mary. Very well. I'll see him by and by ; but I don't 
know as I shall want him. Oh ! if my license would only 
come ! 

Phus. You licens', mis ; wot's you hcens' ? 

Mary {sadly). Why, Phus, I have asked the big men at 
Washington to give me a license ; same as the other river- 
captains have. 

Phus {whitnpering). Oh, Lor', mis, bress de Lor' ! I 
hope it'll cum. {Sits on floor at R., and sings softly^ 

Bring 'long de licens', — 'Lijah cum down. 

{Takes a book from his pocket, sits on floor at R., and reads 
with a great deal of action^ 

Mary {looking at him). Poor Phus ! If the big men at 
Washington could only see me as he sees me, and know, as 
he knows, how well I can handle a boat, they would very soon 
say yes to my application. 

{Enter Mr. Romberg, l.) 

Mr. R. Good-day, Mrs. Miller. I am sorry to be obliged 
to proceed against you, and ask you to deliver up your hus- 
band's papers. / might be willing to wait a little longer ; but 
the other owners are not satisfied. They say that as you 
cannot get a captain's license, some man must take the 
boat. 

Mary. Cannot get a captain's license ? How do you 
know that ? I have applied for one ; and am expecting every 
minute to hear from Washington. 

Mr. R. I know that. Here is the Delta with a long 
account of your case, and the decision of the Solicitor 
of the Treasury. 

Mary {coming forward). Let me see it ! I have heard 
nothing about it. We have had no mail since we got in. 



34 CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 

Mr. R. (reads from the newspaper emphatically). " One 
of the richest papers on the woman question that has ever 
emanated from an official source is the opinion of Solicitor 
Rayner on the question whether licenses should be granted 
women to command steamboats. He says : ' Instead of 
being master in name, while some one else performs the du- 
ties, why does she not let some one else be master in name .'' 
She would not stand her watch at night in the cold. She 
would not enforce the discipline on a Mississippi steamer. 
She would not tramp to the rooms of shippers and con- 
signers to do the banking business — ' " 

Mary {interrupting). Why ! that is just what I have 
been doing for the last five months. 

Mr. R. {reads on). " ' All the accounts concur in describ- 
ing the lady who makes this application as one of high char- 
acter, business qualifications, and highest worth. But, in 
the application of what is with me a principle, the higher the 
character and worth, the greater my difficulty in asking that 
the license asked for to command a Mississippi steamboat 
be granted. Because it would be assigning a position to 
woman which God, in his providence, never intended her to 
fill. K. Rayner, Solicitor of the Treasury.' " 

{Holds out paper to her.) 

Mary. What does he mean } I am sure God has per- 
mitted me to fill this position, and {reveretttly) if He had not 
permitted it, and helped me, too, I never could have done it 
so well. How unjust this man is ! Oh, Mr. Rayner ! can 
you not comprehend that, when a woman cajt do a man's 
work, she ought to have the legal right? {Comes for- 
ward, takes the paper, and reads to herself. To him) But 
see, Mr. Romberg. Here is something else about it; some- 
thing from the Secretary of the Treasury. {Reads) *' The 
United States Revised Statutes say that whenever any per- 
son applies to be licensed, the inspectors shall diligently in- 
quire as to the character of the person, whether male or 
female. I see no reason, then, in unwritten or in written law, 
why Mistress Miller may not lawfully demand an examina- 



CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 35 

tion ; and, if she proves herself duly qualified, have a license 
to serve as master of a vessel. Let the local inspectors care- 
fully examine her, and if they are satisfied that she can be 
safely intrusted with the duties and responsibilities of a 
master of a steam vessel, let them grant her a license, 
according to section 4439. 

Chas. J. Folger, Secretary of the Treasury." 

Bless him for that ! He may make it all right. You see, 
Mr. Romberg, it is not fully decided. I may get the license 
yet. (Phus looks up from his book.) I Have been exam- 
ined ; and when I told the inspectors all about that large 
boat that got stuck up the river, near Cairo, and that we had 
the chance to take off the loaded barges, and how I had them 
made fast to us, took the wheel myself, turned the big boat 
round, and carried her safely into Cairo, they looked sur- 
prised enough. And one of them said that I did seem to be 
qualified. Phus remembers it, the visit of the inspectors ; 
don't you, Phus? 

Phus (^jumping up and putting his whole hand in the 
book for a mark). O, yes, mis' ! dem two gem'man, one 
wid de black bandanna on he hat, de oder wid de gaiters ! 
Ue las' one, he say, " You culled pusson, tel' me troo, your 
mis' she no bos' dis boat ? " I say, " Yaas, saar ! " Den de 
one wid de black bandanna, he say, " But de mate, he de real 
cap'n ; he stan' at w'eel, steer, an' tak' car' ob injyne, don' he ? " 

Mary. What did you tell him ? 

Phus. I sez, " No ! On'y when mis' restin', an' it's cam 
{calm), an' dere ain't no snags nor be-yous. She bos', she 
steer, she watch injyne. Pats, he on'y shovel coal, 'bey 
orders. On'y he mad sometime, an' he say he not be bos' by 
wimmin. Den de one wid de gaiters, he say, " You nig 
tell de trute ; she raal cap'n? She bos' ebryting?" I 
say, " Yas, saar-e ! ebryting ! She bos' steamboat. She 
bos' Pats. She bos' Hank and me — Phus — dat's me 
W'y ! mis' could bos' you, bos' de President 'nited States, be 
cap'n ob ebrybody." Den dey bof laf, an' I help' 'em obe 
de gang-plank. 



36 CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 

Mary {sitting). Oh, Phus ! you tried to prove too much. 
But you make me laugh, in spite of my troubles. 

Phus. I does my bes', mis'. {Sits down, R., and 
reads.) 

Mr. R. The other owners say, and the newspapers, too, 
that you have no chance ; and we are all so certain of it that 
we have agreed not to take away the boat if you do get the 
license. 

Mary. Do you think yourselves so certain as that ? 
Very well. But I have faith to beheve that you will all wish 
that you had not made that promise, unless you really want 
me to have the boat. 

Mr. R. Oh, madam ! we've no notion you'll get it. The 
other owners scorn the idea of a woman captain, and so do I. 
It's ridiculous ! {Walks aboiit.) 

Phus {reading to himself). Wot did Meelissee scram- 
ded — no — squeemed for ? 'coz she felt a col' han' on her 
fourhed? Golly! wos she 'faid o' dat ? {Reads) Oh! she 
was alone in de dark, in de bed, an' couldn't see nobody ! I 
should 'a' thought she would 'a' squeemed. {Looks all 
around in a frightened manner!) 

Mr. R. {seating himself near Mary). When did you hear 
from your husband last ? 

Mary. Not for a long time. I can't think what the rea- 
son is. I expected to find a letter here, but haven't 
received any. Phus ! 

Phus {ju7nping up in terror, and then relieved). Oh ! 
it's on'y mis'. Yaas! yaas ! 

Mary. Phus, you go to the post-office, and see if there are 
any letters. The post-man may not know that we have 
come in. 

Phus. Yaas, mis'. {Puts book on the wheel-house, and 
exit L.) 

Mr. R. He went out with a fishing-fleet, didn't he, from 
Gloucester."* 

Mary. Yes ; why ? 

Mr. R. Well, there have been a good many fishing-boats 



CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 37 

lost lately, down at the Banks, that went from Gloucester. 
What was the name of his boat ? 

Mary. The Betsey Ludgitt, Captain Zabulon Miller. 

Mr. R. That's the name of one of them, I think. Here's 
the shipping list. It says {he reads), " Several vessels 
strayed from the fleet, and have not been heard from since. 
It is feared that they are lost. Among them is the Betsey 
Ludgitt, Captain Zab — " 

Mary (rising in alarm). Merciful Heaven ! it cannot 
be ! I should have heard ; something would have told me 
if such a dreadful thing had happened to William. I cannot 
believe it. 

Mr. R. He may be safe ; but the probabilities are that 
he is lost. 

Mary. Oh ! do not say that again. I cannot and will not 
believe it. (Goes to the hammock, and bends over it.) 

Mr. R. (approachittg Mary in an insinuating way). My 
dear — madam, if anything should happen to your husband, 
remember (sfniling) that you have a warm friend in me. I 
will give you as good a home as there is on the river, and 
take your child, too. Yes ! yes ! I'll take your child. 

Mary (turning suddenly upon him). Give me a home ? 
Take my child ? What do you mean ? 

Mr. R. Why, I mean that I'll marry you ! 

Mary. Marry me ? Who gave you the right to say 
you'd marry me, or take my baby ? William's child ! How 
dare you ! 

Mr. R. I don't see as you can help yourself. You need 
the protection of a ma,n. You can't have the boat ; and you 
certainly can't get a living around here, with your hands tied 
by that young one. And you're too pretty a woman — 
( Tries to take her hand.) 

Mary, (indignantly). Sir ! you've said enough ! You 
may own my boat, and you may have the power to take her 
from me ; but you cannot have the wife of Captain William 
Miller. I tell you, sir, that I would rather beg my way home 
from door to door, with my child in my arms, — yes, I would 



38 CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 

starve, — before I would be the wife of any man but my own 
husband. Dead or alive, it makes no difference to me. He 
is still my husband ! 

Mr. R. (aside). Those down-East women beat the world. 
The spunk they show — Yankee grit they call it — it's amazing! 
But, Gad! it makes her look handsomer than ever. (Zi? her, 
insinuatijtgly) You may change your mind ; but, whether 
you do or not, remember that I will always be your friend. 
(^Stnilmg.') 

Mary. Sir! I shall «<?^'^r change my mind ; and I forbid 
you ever to mention this subject to me again. I want no 
such friendship as yours. Good-morning ! {Turns from 
him, and goes to the hammock.) 

Mr. R. {apologetically). Well, I'm sure I — {Aside) Gad ! 
I want her more than ever. {To her) You know I said if 
you did gQi the license, we won't take away the boat. I'm 
sure you ought not to complain of that ! 

Mary {without turning). Very well, sir — then, there is 
nothing more to say. Good-morning. 

Mr. R. {shamefacedly). Er-er-good-morning. {Exit R.) 

Mary {scornfully). So this is the way men protect 
women ! Wretch ! To dare to speak so to me ! 
{Re-enter Phus, R.) 

Phus. O, mis' ! dere's an ol' gemmen an' young maars on 
de warf, an' dey bof ax for you. 

Mary. Why, who can they be : Ask them to come on 
deck. 

Phus {at R.). Dis way ! Dis way! 

(Captain Gandy, outside, sings?) 

" On Springfield maount'ins there did dwell 
A lovelye youth an' known full well — " 

Mary {in great surprise). Father Gandy! 
{Enter Capt. G. at R., with J. Q. A., in the uniform of a 
railroad-train boy, with a basket on his artn.) 

Mary. Why, father ! Where did you come from ? And 



CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 39 

John Quincy Adams ! (^Rushes into his arms, spilling the 
basket.) 

J. O. A. Here ! Here ! What are you about, spilh'ng all 
my spondulics ! {^Puts down his basket, and takes off his hat.) 

Mary. Dear, dear father! where in the world did you 
come from ? {Throws her arms round hint.) 

Capt G. Why ! from hum, o' coorse. Whar else should 
I hail from? 

Mary {eagerly). Oh, father ! do you know anything about 
William ? I haven't heard from him for two months, and I 
can't think what the reason is. You don't suppose anything 
could have happened to him, do you ? 

Capt. G. Oh ! wal, no — I guess not. I saw by the 
Herald that Zab Miller's skewner had strayed from the rest 
on 'em ; but he knows wot he's abaout. He ain't a-gwine ter 
tell all Glowchester where them skewls o' haulibaout hide, 
{Pats her on the shoulder.) Don't yer worry abaout that ! 
There ain't no telegraph poles on them fishin' graounds, an' 
the postman don't drop in every day in them diggin's, an' 
there ain't no delivery if yer do write, nuther. 

Mary. I can't help worrying ; and yet I know he must 
be safe. But, father, how did you happen to come ? 

Capt. G. Wal, yer marm was so worrited abaout your 
trouble that she made me start off; coz she sed I could act 
as cap'n, if that was all the gov'ment wanted, be " master in 
name " (she read it in the Globe), so's you could keep the 
boat. {Shoves hat on back of head, puts hands in pockets, 
and walks about, sailor fashion.) 

J. Q. A. / was the first one to think of coming. And I 
went to Boston on Jim Rosson's engine^ and got a chance as 
train-boy to New York. And when marm found out I was 
bound to come, she said pup should go, too. I wanted to 
come and punch old Romberg's head. {JValks about and 
inspects everything^ 

Mary. But where did you get the money to come with, 
father ? and, John {to J. Q. A.), who paid your fare from New 
York ? 



40 CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 

J. Q. A. Why ! I paid myself, of course. What do you 
take me for ? When I got to New York I got another chance 
as train-boy, all the way through; and I've peddled out 
water in a big-nosed coffee-pot from Annisport to New Or- 
leans. And sold books, too! And prize packages, and 
things, and magazines. {Calls) " Harper's ! December 
Harper's ! Baby Pathfinder ! Puck ! Peanuts ! Gum 
drops ? (Offers his basket to Mary.) 

Mary, You funny boy ! 

Capt. G. Well, yer see, yer marm — 

Mary (interrupting). Sit down, father. (Offers him a 
camp-stool.) 

Capt. G. No, I just 's lives stand. (Leans against rail- 
ing^ Yer marm took boarders all summer, an' she made me 
take that money. She said 'twould never do any more good ; 
an', then. Leafy Jane, she's I'arnt the millinger's trade, an' she 
giv' me some o' hern. 

J. Q. A. I tried to get a pass for him, part way, at least ; 
but them railroad men are so mean they'll never help a fel- 
low along. 

Capt. G. Haow is little Nate ? 

Mary. Oh ! he's all right ! Here he is, father. Come 
and see him. (They go together to the hammock^ He 
hasn't been sick a day this summer. The dear little fellow ! 
He grows like a weed. 

J. Q. A. (at the hammock, aside). A pig weed, I 
s'pose. 

Capt. G. Yer see, Mary, yer trouble has set me ter think- 
in' ; an' when you wrote they was goin' to take away yer boat, 
just cos yer was a won^an, by the great horn spoon, I was mad : 
for yer a Gandy cl'ar through, a sea-cap'n born like all the 
rest on us. And I've made up my mind that wimmin's rights 
must be worth suthin' to wimmin, as well as men's rights to 
men. An', as old Pete Rosson said, when he felt so bad 
about yer losing the boat, " Sence a woman can't alius hev 
her husband or her father tew take care on her, she ort 
to have the right to take care o' herself, an' then she can use 



CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 4 1 

it or not, as she wants tew." An' so I begin to think that I 
don't care if we do let 'em vote. 

J. Q. A. {examining the wheel). Cracky! you can't 
make me believe that. I shall vote in five years, and I'm 
sure I don't want Leafy Jane taggin' after me to the poles. 
'Tain't any place for girls. 

Capt. G. Stop yer gab ! Wait till yer ten year older 
an' then if yer up for j^^-lectman, yer'U be glad enuf ter have 
'em vote iox yaou! 

J. Q. A. Wouldn't I make a healthy selectman ? Yes, I 
guess not ! 

Capt. G. An' — an', Mary, I want to tell yer suthin' else. 
I gin in about yer mother's caarf, an' went an' bought 
her back. To be sure, she ain't a caarf no longer, but a good 
likely heifer ; but yer mother sez the principle 's just as 
good as if she w^as jest born, or as old as Methuselum. An' 
she's tickled enuf abaout it, an' she said men ain't so bad 
arter all, if yer can onny make 'em see what is wimmin's jest 
dues. 

{Enter Phus, l.) 

Phus. Oh, mis' ! dere's a s'prise for yer, a golly big one! 

Mary. A surprise ! What is it ? 

Phus. Dere's two ladies talking to Hank; an' one looks 
so peart, so peart, oh, Lor' I {Turns to R. Aside) I wan' 
tell her de res'. O, golly ! I can't keep in. 

Mary. Talking to Hank ? Some of his lady friends, I 
suppose. 

Phus. O, yes ! I forgets. Dey wants ter see you, dey 
say, and Hank say he bring'd 'em in. 

{Enter Hank, r., in a stage sailor suit, with Mrs. 
Gandy and Leafy Jane, the latter very stylishly dressed.) 

Mary. Mother ! Leafy Jane ! {Rushes to them.) Well, 
this is a surprise, I should think. 

Capt. G. (in great surprise). I vum to vummy, I am 
beat now ! 

Phus. Wot I tole yer? Wot I tol yer, mis'.'' {Aside.) 
But de odder one's bigger! 



42 CAPTAI3C MAUT MILLER. 

Capt. G. WaaL I svan to maa. Loranr' too'tc got ahead 
cm us this time. {Gtes up t0 her) Taniatioo \ haov glad I 
am ter see ver! 

Mary. Wbv, Leafy Jane, how yonVc grovn ! 

J. O. A. Yes, and she fedb faigger'n too do. and pats on 
a piagay s^^t more airs. She vants &ther (she caDs him 
par) to pat aa ^ in Gandr, Isiise she sajs h s more genteel. 
— And sar ! she dent fitfap ifisP) anj more ; the customers 
lai^hed at her so for saying "• yeth, thir."* 

Capt. G. (^ Mss. G.). Where in the worid 'd loo come 
frms? 

9>Iss. G. {ik&erafefy siiting, mMdreawmmg himmet, mutts, 
€f4L-S). WaaL Nathan, ve heerd of an exertion train daown 
here, at redooced rates; an' the boarders, — one oo 'on's 
viitin' a book, — an' wanted to be quiet, — said they'd take 
die haoose ftnuished far tew months, and par in advance. 
And so Le^ mt* me come r^ht along. She's made a k)t o' 
baonits tins &I1 on her own accaoont, so ^le's qnite a 
haiess (ittras). 

I> J. «H mar! 

Mrs. G. Yer see, par, we hadn't time to write after we'd 
made i^ oar mind to start, an' we mm a leetle 
sooaer'a we shooki ef it hadnt V been for comin' with — 
er — widi — 

I- J. (wkzspers manamgfyy. Why, mar! 

Mks. G. — widi the ezertioaists. (Aside). Why in the 
world dont lie come? I'm tired o* keqmi' it in. He said he 
OBBj wanted to go ter the bank. {Tt> ]Mart) An' then I 
was afiraid Toa or the faafaj — why ! where if the baby ? Do 
ks see Imn! 

Mast. He's asieefi, modier. Here, come and see him. 
Isnt he adarimg? {Thy jjm tp tkr Mamtmud.') 

I. J. Oh, Mary, what made joa name the baby Natfaaoi ? 
I wish Toa had called him Herbert, Ernest, or MoBtmoreBcL 
It's so much more genteeL 

J. O. A. MoBtmorend MOleri Crad:y! wooldn't that 
be tony ? 



CAPTAIN MARY MILLEK- 43 

L. J. {scornfully). Tony! {IValks off with Haxk fa 
fke ivheel-kouse^ 

Mrs. G. (7> Mast) We tole yer yoroig mam tftat 
looks so mach like Fred DooglaaB not to teH yo- who we 
was. 

J. O. A. Marm won't say ** colored man.'^ 

Mrs^ G. Noy I won't ; I'm sick o' readin' oa't in t&c 
newspapers. They're aBas sayin' sticii a ma% colored^ had 
his kg took ofl^ or died, or sirtfata'. What difierence 
does it make, I should like to koowy wfaeAer he^s oerfoted or 
not \ He's hnrt all the same, ain't he ? an' he's a bub, tew, 
all the same, ain't he ? 

Yn\jS {aside). Gofly! I^aQbast! 

3fLjlry {to Mrs. G.). How kmg- eaa yoa stay ? a good 
while, I hope. 

HA>fK {steps farsrard, drawls). I think we most start in 
about three weeks frota Moo^y, if all the signs come right. 
{To Mary) You see tlie ezcarsion don't last only till then. 

Mary {in surprise}. We toast start ! What in the world 
does this mean ? 

HA>n5L- Wal, yon see. Leafy and me. we've been a-wrftiii* 
back and forth sence the cap'n told me I'd better ; an* she's 
agreed to hev me. an' go an" live down to Nantncket. Grand- 
&ther s old, and my marm wants me to come home an' settle 
down an' see to things. She says she's tired o' house- 
keeping, and wants to see some young Iblks roond. 

J. O. A. {ta L. J-X 'Fore I'd marry a cook! Anybody 
that feels as big as ycm do. Cookie Mudgitt I Haw are yott, 
Mrs. Cookie Mudgitt! 

Capt. G. Hold your yorp ■. Handreds of fai^ aasa feer 
ben cooks. There was the most wossbqiiBi Gk M. of aoor 
Masonic Lodge, he osed to be cook m Aanisport. JaSL, xa' 
BOW he's a 'sorance ma% aa' fives m a lan^ b% baoose. 
An', then, there was a SsSer cooked oa a laadb five year', aa^ 
they sent him to Congress^ 

Mart. Oh, Hank ! what shall we do witfcioot yo« ? 

Hank. I tho't o' that Bat a oice French Creole frihy 



44 CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 

is takin' my place to-day ; an' if he does well, pVaps you'll 
keep him. If not, I'll find somebody else afore we go. 

Mary [to L. J.). When are you going to be married ? 

L. J. {loftily). As soon as we have made the needed 
preparations. Henry will explain. 

J. Q. A. {to Hank). Then, that's what you're so 
rigged up for, ain't it. Bub ? in all them sailor slops. You 
look like a royal tar, a regular old Britisher. 

Hank {sheepishly'). ■ Why, yes ; you see. Leafy, she likes 
it. But as soon as the weddin' is over (she wants me to be 
married in 'em here on the boat), I mean to put the whole 
rig away in my sea-chist, with them blasted books that de- 
luded me into goin' to sea ; an' that will be the last of my 
bein' a sailor. I've had enough of it. Darn the bunks! I 
want to sleep on a first-rate feather-bed the rest of my life. 

L.J. Law! Henry. How you do talk! 

Hank. It's a fact. Leafy, so there ! {He goes up to her 
and tries to kiss her.) 

L. J. ( pushing him away). There ! that will do, Henry. 
That's seven times to-day since I came. 

Hank. Is it ? Well, 'tain't any too many, anyhow ! 

J. Q. A. You great galloot ! Catch me ever being such a 
fool. Say! what kind of a necktieyou going to wear ? 

Hank. Oh, a stunner ! blue and yallar, I guess. {Looks 
at L. J.) Sha'n't I, Leafy ? 

L. J. {with dignity). No, Henry ; you must have one to 
match my dress. 

J. Q. A. {to L. J.). 'Fore I'd go taggin' 'way down to New 
Orleans after a husband ! 

L. J. You'll have to tag all round the world before you'll 
find any one fool enough to wed you. 

J. Q. A. I don't think I shall ever " wed." My affections 
have been blighted by a fair damsel from Chicago. She had 
large feet. 

Mrs. G. Stop, John Quincy! Yer as sarsy daown 
here as yer was ter hum; ain't ye I'arnt nothin' by 
travellin' ? 



CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 4$ 

(Phus, 'W^o has been examining J. Q. A.'s basket, at- 
tracted by the peanuts, puts his hand in his pocket for money 
to buy some, and, feeling a letter there, draws it forth ^ 

Phus. Golly, I forgets dat let' ! Mis' ! mis' ! here's a 
let' ; seems it mus' be dat licens'. Yes! see dis great t'ing on 
it, big as a hoe-cake and red as a 'simmon. 

Mary {eagerly). Give it to me ! {Breaks- the seal and 
hastily reads.) 

New Orleans, Feb. 8, 1884. 
Mrs. Mary Miller : Dear madam, I take great pleasure in 
forwarding to you a captain's license, for a Mississippi steamboat, 
granted according to the decision of Secretary Folger, under Sec- 
tion 4439 of the Revised Statutes of the United States. 
Very Respectfully, 

Daniel Dumont, 
Supervising Inspector-General. 

(Mary bursts into tears, and sits down.) 

Phus. Is it, mis' ? Is it de licens' ? 

Mary {rising proudly, and holding it out). Yes, it is 
my license ; and I am Captain Mary Miller! {Hands faper 
to Capt. G.) 

Hank. Hurrah! Three cheers for Captain Mary 
Miller! 

J. Q. A. And a Tiger-r-r-rrr ! 

(Patsy looks in, then enters and listens). 

Capt. G. I thought Charles J. Folger 'd hev the rights 
on't. 

Mrs. G. Them Folgers could alius be depended on to do 
the right thing ; believed in ekality from the beginnin'. Old 
Ben Franklin was one on 'em, and Lucreshy Mott. They 
ain't a bit like some o' them Nantucket Halletts — alius on 
the wrong side of ekality. 

Phus. Lor' bress Cap'n Mary Miller, cap'n of de Key- 
hole's Bride. {Seises his banjo, sings uproariously, and 
dances about.) 

Bress de men at Washington, — 'Lijah cum down. 
Dat made a woman cap'n, — 'Lijah cum down. 



4^ CAPTAIN MARY MILLER, 

But bress above dem all,— 'Lijah cum down. 
Good Seketelly Folger, — 'Lijah cum down. 
May de charyott ob Erlijah swing him softly up to 
(Slowt'r) Heben, 

An' Mary Miller's blessin' be his eberlastin' crown. 
Mrs. G. {lo him, aside). You go'n see ef he ain't a-comin'. 
I can't hold in much longer. {Exit Phus, r.) 
Patsy. Faix, mum, I'll shthay wid ye as lang as ye varnt. 
Mary. But, Patsy, if you do stay, you must expect to 
obey orders. 

Patsy. For sure, mum; I shpects to 'bey a raal lay- 
censed cap'n. (^Goes to 'wheel and sits by it.) 

Mary. And now I am captain of my own vessel in name 
as well as in reality. God bless Secretary Folger ! He has 
saved us from want, protected our little home, and given a 
woman the right to be captain of her own boat. If William 
were only here ! 

Phus {entering in great excitement). Oh, mis' ! here's de 
biggest sprise in de worl' ! {Beckofiing.) Dis way ! Dis way ! 
{Enter Captain Miller, l. All rise.) 
Capt. M. Mary ! 

Mary. My dear William! I knew you would come 
back ! {Embraces him.) 

Capt. M. Of course, my darling wife. Why shouldn't I 
come back ? 

Mary. Why, the papers said your vessel had drifted from 
the rest, and — 

Capt. M. That is true. But we drifted to some purpose, 
for we struck a splendid school of halibut, and we stayed 
till we filled up. That's the reason I did not write. 
And when we landed, I ran up to Annisport, and found 
Mother Gandy and Leafy Jane wanted to come with me, and 
so we all came along together. 

{Shakes hands all round, returns to Mary.) 
Mary. But, William, where have )'0u been all this time ? 
Capt. M. Oh, I had to go to the bank for father to pay 
the interest on a note — 



CAPTAIN MARY MILLER. 47 

Mrs. G. But we thought we'd come right along — 

Mary. Why didn't you tell me, mother ? 

Mrs. G. William told me not to. He wanted to s'prise 
yer. 

J. Q. A. She thought she wouldn't " tell you all at once, 
for fear you couldn't bore it." 

Phus. I seen de cap'n at de pos'-office. He say, " How 
Mis Miller?" I say, "Bos', an' de baby, too." Golly, 
wa'n't it a big s'prise ? 

Mary. See, William, here's my license as captain. I 
sent to Washington for a license, and here it is. {Shows it 
to him.) 

Mrs. G. Think of aour Mary's bein' a cap'n. Haow 
lucky! An', naow, if anything happen* to you, William, she 
can alius get a livin', 'cos she can manage her own boat. 

J. Q. A. Yes, and she can paddle her own canoe. 

L. J. John Ouincy Adams Gandy, how very vulgar ! 

Capt. G. {to William). What'U you do, neaow Mary's 
madecapt'n? Haow'U j^?^ git along? 

Mary. Oh, we'll both be captains. 

Capt. M. No! She shall be captain still ; and I'll be her 
mate. It won't be the first time a man has sailed through 
life under the orders of a brave and true-hearted woman, — 
nor the last, I hope. And so. Captain Mary Miller, I salute 
you. {Alakes a naval salute.) 

Phus. Wid a kiss ! wid a kiss ! Mars cap'n, kiss mis' 
cap'n. 

Capt. M. Yes, to please you, my good fellow (and myself 
also), it shall be with a kiss. {Kisses her hand). My 
captain ! 

Disposition of characters : 

R. c. L. 

Capt. G. Mrs. G. Hank and L. J. 

Capt. M. and Mary. 

J. Q. A. Phus. 



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ment 7 males, 4 females. 

SHALL OUR MOTHERS V0TE1 Hu- 

irn)rous debate for 11 bovs. r 

SNOW BOUND. ^Musical and dramatic en- 
tertainment. 3 males, i fomale. 25 CBUtS. 

STAND BY THE FLAG. Drama in one 
act. 5 males. 

SILVIA'S SOLDIER. Drama in two acts. 
3 males, 2 females. 

TEMPTER, THE. Dmma in one act. 3 
males, i female. 

TENDER ATTACHMENT, A. Farce in 

one act. 7 males. 
THIEF OF TIME, THE. Farce in one 

act. 6 males. 

THIRTY MINUTES FOR REFRESH- 

ineQtS. Farce in one act. 4 males, 3 fern. 
THORN AMONG THE ROSES, A. Com- 

edv in one act 2 males, 8 females. 
TITANIA. flay f'r children in two acts. 

Many char. 25 CentS. 

TOO LATE FOR THE TRAIN. Dialogue 

for 2 males, iiitrixUicing songs and recitations. 

TOURNAMENT nF IDYLWENT, THE. 

Alleaors- for 13 females. 

VISIONS OF FREEDOM. -Allegory for 

i 16 females 

! USING THE WEED. Farce in one act. 
I 7 females. 

I WANTED. A MALE COOK. Farce m 
i one act. 4 males. 
WAR OF THE ROSES. Allegory for 8 
females. 

WE'RE ALL TEETOTALERS. Farce in 
one scene. 4 males, 2 females. ■) 



.WALTER H BAKER, & CO. (P.O. Box 2846), Boston, Mass. 



